**This post is in no way meant to shame working mothers. It is meant to give the moms – who have been at home with the kids for far too long – a voice. Too many times the stay at home mom is overlooked and passed over. If you are a working mom and feel offended, I am sorry, that is not my intention. I applaud you for having the ability to go back to work or find employment after having a baby. For some of us, it is near impossible.**
My youngest is currently going on a year and a half and I need to tell you a secret: I’m terrified to look for work. I’m not scared of working, in fact I can’t wait to have an adult life again.
It’s been a long time since my last job away from home. Aside from working as a building manager for an apartment rental company (which was pretty much a work-from-home job) I haven’t had a job outside the home in at least eight years now. I have tried a few home based things but it’s hard to make a livable income working direct sales. Some companies will actually hire employees to work from home but living in a small town, that is mostly laughed at. I have been on the hunt for legitimate home-based work for over a year now and in that year I have had one serious offer – which turned out to be a huge scam – the rest were all employers looking to poke fun at “the stay at home mom looking to get paid for raising her kids”.
I’m in a relationship with a wonderful, hardworking man who is footing quite a few of the bills so I can continue to stay home with the kids. It’s not that I can’t work, it’s the daycare part. There is NO subsidized spots available where we live and paying for daycare at full price is out of the question for us. I would be working just to pay for daycare – so I’m impatiently, nervously waiting until the youngest starts school. Now, that doesn’t mean I’m sitting on my butt doing nothing. I recently completed a program and graduated grade twelve (FINALLY) and am currently looking into college programs, trying to find a way to get a secondary education without spending thousands or owing thousands. I desperately want to begin to build a career for myself. So that’s my plan for now.
However, even though there is at least three to four years until L starts school, we moms know those years fly by fast, so I’m terrified. Who is going to hire a young mom who hasn’t worked in years? I felt compelled to write this letter to employers everywhere. Not because I feel moms deserve special attention (even though we all deserve a freakin award) but because I know there are other moms out there in the same boat as me – terrified to go back to work because reality is, we will most likely hunt for jobs that we will be turned down for due to lack of experience and supposed work ethic. So employers, I beg you to continue reading.
I am a mom but that does not make me unsuitable for employment. I know you think that moms will vanish at the first phone call of a sick child, accident at school or being sick themselves. You may think a mom who hasn’t worked outside the home in years is under qualified or lacks experience. You may even think a stay at home mom is lazy. But I beg to differ.
As stay at home moms we are relied on for many things:
- alarm clock
- chef & baker
- barber & hair stylist
- therapist & counsellor
- bank & financial advisor
- and so much more.
No, we do not have diplomas or certificates for these things. But we do have some hard, real-life experience. And guess what? We can apply our real-life experience to a real-life job.
A stay at home mom is hard-working. Have you ever stepped foot in a home that is run by a stay at home mother? Those homes are normally clean with laundry done, dishes done, school lunches made, backpacks packed, shoes in their place, and a menu planned for the week.
A stay at home mom is resilient. The common cold has run through our homes five times this year – and we have had it every time. But no one fills in for us so whether we are sick or not, we keep working. We cut our finger preparing supper? We wrap that up with a bandage and finish cooking before we head to the hospital for stitches because our families need to eat. And no matter what problem our families face, we find a way to get through it – carrying our families through it all.
A stay at home mom has attention to detail. We take pride in our homes and our children, for they are our happy place. We can spot a broken toy miles away, grab it and throw it out before our children see it and try to argue about keeping it. We can see the speck of cereal on our child’s cheek and clean it just before the flash goes for family pictures.
A stay at home mom is punctual. We cart our children to sports practices and games, dance recitals, after school activities, medical appointments and more. We get there on time because the team is counting on us and if you’re late for the doctor you suffer paying a late fee. Plus if we can manage to get out by ourselves, you can bet we will be there on time!
A stay at home mom can work under stress. As I write this right now, my oldest is yelling at my middle child, my middle child is playing video games and making sound effects, my youngest is screaming and running in circles and Peppa Pig is on the TV. If that’s not working under stress, I don’t know what is.
A stay at home mom can multitask like you’ve never seen. We can talk to our mother on the phone, cook supper and help with homework all at once. We can vacuum with one hand, hold a baby in the other and still manage to get those toys put away with our feet.
A stay at home mom can work independently or as a team member. We crave our alone time so we can get things done for ourselves. But we also crave being around other adults after years of conversations led by children.
A stay at home mom is creative. Who do you think comes up with all those cool kid-friendly dinners on Pinterest? Who do you think REALLY makes all those school projects?
A stay at home mom is caring and compassionate. Our families are our world. We do everything that we do, for them. We tend to our children when they are sick, wait on our spouses, and make sure our homes are filled with warmth.
So, dear employer, don’t look at us as if we have no experience. We may need a little bit of training and we may need a little time to get used to being outside the home again. But the truth is, stay at home moms could very possibly be your best employees. When we set our minds to something, we do everything in our power to get it done. Having children set us back a little but we are still human and we still crave to be accepted and acknowledged. Our employment will become another child in which we will care for and nurture with every ounce of mothering that we have. We don’t give up, we strive for greatness.
Again, dear employer, take the chance and hire the mom. You will not be disappointed, you WILL be surprised.
Currently A Stay At Home Mom
Nervously Looking for Employment in the Future
P.S. If you are an employer with a legitimate work-from-home opportunity that offers a livable wage – not commission based – (in Ontario, Canada), PLEASE contact me through my Home Page. I would greatly appreciate it.